Adventures in Diarrhea

To follow up on the panties turd party post from yesterday I figured I would describe my adventures in diarrhea that I had last night. It started of like a normal night, I came home and picked up my gf so we could go to the asian grocery store to pick up a few things. Everything seemed ok until we got inside the store, then I could feel my bowels rumbling. I hadnt eaten anything so I was confused. I told her we needed to get out fast as I felt my asshole was about to explode. After selecting some disgusting candy with heathen writing on the box we made a quick getaway. Back at home I sat on the toilet trying to evacuate my bowels but nothing was coming out. I felt like I had diarhea but even bracing myself with my feet on the wall and pushing as hard as I could nothing budged. WEIRD! It seemed I had constirrhea! I was constipated with diarrhea! anyway so I thought if I ate somethng maybe it would come out. so I ate some spring rolls and layed down to go to bed. A few hours later I awoke to find myself in a horrible predicament. I ran to the bathroom and after a few minutes of straining a veritable flood of disgusting brown filth exploded from my anus. It sounded like someone had poured a pitcher of water into the shitter. relieved I stood up, only to realize it wasnt over, I sat down and what might have been a blast from a giant super soaker sprayed from my backside, I would have laughed or been amazed if I didnt feel so sick. Well by this time I had taken my pants all the way off so I didnt get tangled up. My stomach was feeling weird and the stench of my ass waste wafted up to my delicate nostrils inducing me to gag. At first I thought I might be able to hold it back but like my asshole my stomach offered up its gift to the toilet as i wretched an never ending stream of spring roll, pepto bismol and what tasted like a hamburger i ate on sunday. As i was wretching I felt the warm wetness start to run down my leg, I had tried to clench my anus but it did no good, as I was puking I had shit all over myself. It was horrible. Just then my girlfriend peeked in the bathroom as I lay on the floor with no pants and shit running down my legs and purple pepto bismol puke on my face.