SRS BIZ in my hood

So apparently my neighborhood has gone ape shit crazy this week, and by my neighborhood I mean the 3 streets and 2 cul de sacs in the small lower middle class subdivision where i am a proud homeowner. Anyway Apparently some chick got raped by some black guy who jumped out of the bushes, kicked her ass & then had sex with her, Then the same day the mexican apartments across the road caught on fire, which was pretty exciting, but the real crazy news is not one but two fucking people were attacked by a fox in my neighborhood this week. Yes I said a fucking FOX. They are warning everyone to stay inside. Also the news just informed me its rattlesnake mating season. SRS fuckin BIZNESS!